“C-O-K-E, that’s right sweetheart.” Jessica slowly formed
the letters with her hand as she slid the can across the table to Ben. His
signing had really improved over the past year, but he still struggled
sometimes. When he got sick, she never anticipated that something like this
would happen. She knew as his mother that it was now her responsibility to give
him as normal a life as possible, but if the judge didn’t rule in her favor
this afternoon, she wouldn’t be able to protect him anymore. If Ben went to
live with Chris, his life would change in more ways than one, forever.
She thought
back to when she first got pregnant. Chris was so excited that he had this
goofy grin plastered on his face for a solid week. He started looking at houses
and planning for their future together, and Jessica thought she could see her
life slowly unfolding before her. Jessica, however, handled Ben’s handicap
better than Chris did. While Jessica took night classes in sign language and
read parenting books, Chris got angry, frustrated with Ben. He would come stumbling
in, knocking things over before bitterly saying, “Oh whatever, it’s not like he
can hear me anyways.”
Focusing
back on Ben, she silently thanked the restaurant for giving her the day off.
She wanted to spend as much time as possible with him today in case the hearing
didn’t go well. She knew Chris would try to use her job against her, claiming it
wasn’t stable enough for Ben, that he could provide him a better life. Sure, the
restaurant didn’t pay much, but everyone there loved her son like a family, and
he needed that now more than ever. No matter what Chris gave him, it wouldn’t
replace the lack of trust between them, a scar so deep that it could never be
repaired. Once was all it took, and even though he swore it would never happen
again, she swore she would never let him lay a hand on her son again.
As they
made their way up the courthouse steps, she gripped Ben’s hand just a little
bit tighter. “Surely they wouldn’t take a child away from its mother,” she quietly
thought to herself. “Ben needs me.”
She walked through the empty hall, the only sound coming from Ben’s Spiderman
sneakers squeaking on the marble floors. As she pushed the large wooden doors
open, she saw him. Rage instantly swelled up inside her as she took her seat
across the aisle, the memory of that night still fresh in her mind. He looked
tired and impatient, tapping his expensive Italian shoes on the floor.
Disgusted by his presence, Jessica turned to Ben in the seat beside her. “I
want Coke,” he slowly signed to her. “In a little while baby,” she mouthed,
making sure he focused on her lips.
“All rise for the honorable Judge
Lewis,” the bailiff bellowed. As Jessica rose from her seat, she glanced over
at Chris. There was no way she would let him take Ben away from her. She
couldn’t.
